Enter Sakura Haruno: Pirate!
by Therrin-Ninja
Summary: Sakura Haruno is a young mermaid, with her two human friends Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha. her experiences from mergirl to pirate! a complete rewrite of the story Naruto.
1. wait, this isn't a random parody?

She had spent her childhood watching them

I don't own Naruto or any of the affiliated characters. Unfortunately.

-o-o-o-o-o-

She had spent her childhood watching them. The two boys. They had come down to the dock and the beach everyday. The first time, they had been friendly, playing.

It had been her first time at the shore, too. The boys were no older than her, only five or six. One was blond, with blue eyes that shone with his happiness. The other had black hair, and black, quiet eyes. But those eyes were just as happy, just as sad as the other boy's eyes.

The blond one was the first to see her. She had been hiding under the dock, watching up through the planks. She loved watching the dark haired boy, Sasuke. He was so cool, so reserved and nice looking. And yet it had been Naruto who saw her first. She blamed it on her pink hair. Naruto had stared at her, then tugged on Sasuke's sleeve, saying, "Hey, hey, Sasuke, look! A mermaid!"

But this was after whatever that tragedy had been. Naruto had sometimes, back during the earlier years, gazed sadly into the water. But then, when Sakura was maybe nine, Sasuke had not come for weeks on end. When he finally did start to come again, he had been silent, cold, and had almost ignored Naruto. He and Naruto never played pirate the way they had used to anymore. Instead, Sasuke insisted on practicing his swordsmanship, something Naruto wasn't very good at.

It was a time like this that Naruto first spotted Sakura. She had started to grow her hair out, due to a comment Sasuke had made about preferring long hair. That day, she had tied in glass beads she had found, which had probably caught the light, and gotten Naruto's attention.

Naruto was dazzled by how pretty the mermaid was, but Sasuke hadn't even bothered to look. He sat at the edge of the dock, polishing his sword, a quiet but angry glint in his eye.

"Idiot." He murmured under his breath.

Naruto ignored him, or didn't hear him, and leaned down over the side of the dock to see her clearly.

Sakura scowled at him. She thought him loud and obnoxious, and in need of more sword practice before she thought much about him. She preferred Sasuke much more.

"Hi there! I'm Naruto! I'm from the village up there, on the hill. Who are you?"

"Sakura, from the rock caverns near the shore. Hey, is Sasuke from your village, too?"

Naruto blinked. "Hm? Yeah, he is. Hey, are you really a mermaid?"

Sakura rolled her eyes, but nodded. Holding onto the dock's post for support, she lifted her tail out of the water and waved it around.

"Cool. The scales are really pretty."

Sakura didn't give much heed to Naruto's compliment. Now if it had come from Sasuke . . .

"Sakura?"

"Hm? Yeah, Naruto?"

"Do you know much about pirates?"

She shook her head. "No. My parents don't talk about it much, and the only ships I see are merchants' "

"Oh. Okay then."

Sasuke stood up. "Come on, Naruto. It's getting dark, and there was a red sky this morning, which means that the weather's not going to stay nice."

"How smart!" drooled Sakura.

She watched them leave. Well, at least she had an excuse to talk to Sasuke now, even if it was through Naruto.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Ah hah, this is no parody!!

Lala la LALALA!

More to come! I'm rewriting the story of Naruto, Pirate style! Stick around for the Chuunin exam REVAMPED! YAY!

Seriously, this is gonna be fun! Can you guess who's gonna be a merperson, and who's gonna be human?


	2. wait, this isn't cracktastic!

I do not own Naruto or any of the affiliated characters

I do not own Naruto or any of the affiliated characters. Unfortunately.

-o-o-o-o-o-

There was a hurricane. Not the same one Sasuke had predicted, which a blind seagull would have been able to predict, but a sudden, harsh, and violent hurricane.

Sakura was in trouble. She had gone out to the dock that day, to join Naruto and Sasuke for a day of sailing. One use she could be to Sasuke was to guide him away from the sand bars and rocks.

The winds had driven the little boat far faster than Naruto, Sasuke or Sakura intended. The boat, in fact, sped straight out toward open sea. The problem was, there was a rather large, ironwork lighthouse in the way. And it was falling.

Naruto and Sasuke fought with the tiller, nearly crying in desperation, as the great bars of metal screeched above the wind as they twisted and bent in on themselves. Sakura had just as bad a time, being buffeted back and forth by the waves. Suddenly, a huge wave, far bigger than the ones before, swept up the little boat and the mermaid clinging to the jib line, and threw them against the higher struts of the crippled lighthouse. This was the last straw.

The framework snapped, bringing the top of the lighthouse down. The boat never stood a chance, it snapped into what appeared to be a billion different pieces before Sakura's eyes, sending Sasuke and Naruto tumbling into the dark, deep and cold water. Sakura tried to follow, but found that her hair, by that time very long, had gotten caught in the remains of the boat's tiller and rudder. She desperately tugged at the knots, but even if she had had time, it would have been hopeless.

Instead, she felt around, and her hand landed on Naruto's emergency pack. He had strapped it to the tiller, saying that of all the things to float of detached, the tiller was it.

Sakura seized the pack, and pulled out the pocketknife Naruto had stashed within. With one sweep, she slashed off nearly all of her lovely long pink hair. Leaving the hair behind, she dove desperately into the oddly calm water directly below.

They had sunk far. Sasuke had actually reached the stony outcropping that the lighthouse had originally rested on. Naruto floated limply. Around him seemed to glow a bright blue aura. Sakura left him floating there and continued diving for Sasuke.

His fingers had literally brushed the ocean floor when Sakura grabbed the front of his shirt and began swimming back towards the surface. Suddenly, the water began churning again. Naruto, who had been floating near the surface, was now sinking, the blue aura gone. Sakura seized him around the chest, and kept swimming.

The storm was still howling away at the surface. Sakura was about to swim with her two friends underwater when she remembered that they couldn't breathe underwater. She eventually realized that the only thing she could do was try to find shelter somewhere nearby. The top of the lighthouse would have been ideal, but that was currently sinking towards the bottom of the ocean, trailing a frothy cloud of bubbles behind. The only think nearby was a small, bird-dung encrusted rock. It was better than nothing.

She sheltered them as best she could, keeping them on the rock, and blocking the worst of the waves with her own back. Even so, it was well past night time when the storm finally passed. Sakura, exhausted, lay on the rock with her friends, and fell asleep.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Sorry that it's short, but don't worry. Next chapter's much longer!


	3. nothing chronologically right! HUH?

I do not own Naruto or any of the affiliated characters

I do not own Naruto or any of the affiliated characters. Unfortunately.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Enter Sakura Haruno; Pirate! Part 3

-o-o-o-o-o-

Naruto was the first to wake. He groaned, and immediately began coughing up salt water and stomach acid. He felt bruised all over, and he couldn't quite fathom how he had managed to get himself on a smelly old rock in the middle of the ocean.

Finally, he summoned up the energy to sit up. Sasuke lay beside him, salt encrusted and asleep. Sakura was on his other side, also asleep. Naruto smiled as he realized that it had probably been her who had saved them, and brought them here. Wherever here was. He looked around, searching for any landmarks. It was then that he saw it.

Twisted spires of metal rose from a rock nearby, the ends almost looking as though they had snapped. The metal lacing in between was mangled, more resembling seaweed than any man-made object. The lighthouse.

The horror of something like the lighthouse collapsing made Naruto want to vomit all over again. Instead, he lay back down, and fell asleep.

Sakura was the next to wake up. She shook her head vigorously, trying to banish the headache she had, but to no avail. She must have imagined the voice calling out.

"Oi! Sakura!"

She hadn't. "Ino!" Sakura cried happily. A dingy was headed for the rock, manned by one person. Beside it were two merpeople, a boy and a girl. The merman groaned. "The people from the other clans started getting nervous when you guys didn't show up. They've sent out search parties and everything. Troublesome, if you ask me."

"You know Shikamaru doesn't mean that," laughed Ino, waving a hand,

Choji popped one of the taffies he eternally carried into his mouth.

"Choji! If you keep carrying those, they're gonna become salt water taffies!"

Choji shrugged. "For your information, thy already are."

Ino grumbled, and turned back to Sakura. "So, Sakura," she said, eyeballing the two boys on the rock, "is that black haired boy the one you call Sasuke?"

Sakura glowered. "Back off, Ino!"

"Make me. He's hot!"

"Oi!" called Shikamaru, breaking up their little fight. "Let's get them into the boat, at least."

Sakura nodded. She pulled herself up next to Sasuke. "Hey, Sasuke?" She touched his shoulder. He groaned a little, then cracked open his eyes. He glanced over at Sakura, then sat up, acting as cool and composed as usual, though he did wince every so often when he discovered a new bruise.

Sakura wasn't so gentle with Naruto. "Hey, Naruto, Get UP!" she said, shaking his shoulder.

Naruto's eyes snapped open. "Oh my god, Sakura, what happened to your hair?!"

She had forgotten that. Now that she thought about it, her head felt lighter. She'd never realized just how heavy hair actually was. She fluffed the newly cut ends, and laughed.

"Well, it was really getting in the way, and it was time for a change, anyway."

Sasuke ignored their conversation. He was focusing on a small metal box he had in his hand. A familiar. A small, metal box. He closed his fist over it, and his expression darkened. He would get revenge.

Finally the tow boys clambered into the boat. Naruto had made an ass out of himself by saying "Wow! More mermaids!" and grinning stupidly. Shikamaru had tossed a limpet shell at Naruto, correcting him, "Merpeople," Which Naruto followed up with a "Wow, you're a guy?"

Shikamaru scowled, and threw another shell at Naruto, getting him square between the eyes. "Idiot."

They eventually got back to shore, and Choji landed the dingy on the beach. A tall man with his hair in a ponytail like Shikamaru's hurried over. His first action was to begin asking if Naruto and Sasuke were all right. Then he turned, and began thanking the merpeople and Choji. Sakura told the story of the storm, which caused Naruto to gape at her, awestruck. Sasuke simply acknowledged the fact that she had saved his life, and left. While he left, a woman approached from the opposite direction. She had blond hair, and Sakura could tell by the way she held her arms that she fully intended to kill.

The woman, taking wide strides, caught up to Sasuke, and punched him in the gut (much to Sakura's horror), then hefted him over her shoulder. Then she marched up to the water's edge. Naruto started to shake like a leaf, and even the man with the pony tail started shifting his footing nervously and scratching at the scar that arched across his nose. Sakura sank into the water until only the top half of her head was exposed.

"Naruto, you're in big trouble. And you too, missy! Stop hiding in water! You're just as much at fault!"

"B-but I'm a mermaid!"

"Like I care?" the woman marched into the waves, and scooped Sakura out of the water, hefting her under her other arm like a sack. "Naruto, come on. To my office. Now."

Sakura was in shock. Nobody had ever tried to take her out of the water. Sure, she'd heard stories, but nothing like this.

A full-grown woman hauling three youngsters, and one a mermaid, certainly earned a few stares.

"L-lady Tsunade!" Naruto gulped, "what are you going to do?"

"To you?" she smiled angrily. "Nothing. Just introduce you to the owner of the boat you trashed."

Sasuke, wisely, decided to keep quiet.

-o-o-o-o-o-

I think what I've written to follow this up sucks, so I'm sorry, another long wait while I revise the entire thing. DX

Oh, but I'm keeping the first bit of it. It's pretty fun to read.

Sorry again, it's pretty short, isn't it?


End file.
